God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
