Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize