Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
