Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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