Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
