Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
