that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You are a genius and a whore.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
