I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
