Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
