Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
