why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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