I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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