shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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