It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
