i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize