3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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