i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
