i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
