yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
