my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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