I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
