Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
