what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
