i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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