I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize