i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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