i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
