I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
