just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
