I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
