theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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