belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
