Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
