Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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