smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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