I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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