So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
