Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
