seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
