Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
