I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize