I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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