you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm always down for nudity.
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