if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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