You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
