u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize