At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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