i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
