I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
