you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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