you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize