failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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