she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize