Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
