Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Im at strip club and am horny
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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