p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize