i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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