I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
