Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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