TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
