why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i think im in europe. pls send help
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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