Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
