well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
