three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
