well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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